I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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