Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
