Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize