i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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