god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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