The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
