girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
