Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
