i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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