Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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