I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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