I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
