on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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