Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
