I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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