Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
