it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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