Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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