i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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