i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
