i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
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I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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