Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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