someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
