I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
She announced her abortion via fbk
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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