she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
