Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
