Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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