I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My bed smells like the plague
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
