Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
