she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
