It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
