I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
