I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
