Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
