I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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