I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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