I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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