And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
