I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
