you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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