Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
