Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
