So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize