we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
