never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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