I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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