I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
is it fun? or sober?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
