Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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