Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
