Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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