it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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