Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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