wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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