i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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