I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Randomize
