i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
