so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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