I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
